Thursday, August 12, 2010

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 19 - Women Food and God

So yesterday I watched an Oprah episode that was recorded on my dvr from Monday. I normally just scan through to see if the topic was interesting to decide if it was worth watching. Well the topic was "WHY OPRAH WILL NEVER DIET AGAIN!" So immediately I hit play and began to watch. The whole show was about the new book WOMEN, FOOD, AND GOD. Well, lets just say it hit home so much so that I was bawling half way through. So I went out literally yesterday and bought the book. We have all heard and seen or experienced emotional eating in our lives. In the past when anyone would speak about emotional eating, I would feel bad for them, but never really connected to my life. I am, for the most part, an optimistic happy person. I didn't feel like I ate to cover any emotion pain that I have experienced. More so than anything I ate because I wanted to and because food tasted good to me. But this book is really opening my eyes to something much deeper.
The author and Oprah were discussing how those of us that have been on diets our whole life (me) have made food a bad guy when in reality nourishing food is good because it comes from God. That those people have shamed themselves for so long, they can't even enjoy good food for feeling bad because they are eating it (that's definitely me). This was not God's grand design for us. The author has a theory that all of us eat when we aren't hungry for a deeper reason. This is what I used to say baloney to. Some of us have been so good at covering up that reason that we think it is baloney. The ah ha moment here is that we eat to cover up some sort of pain because we think that actually feeling that pain will kill us. In reality if we are hiding the pain, we are already feeling it and once we allow ourselves to uncover it...which may hurt but not kill us, we can be free of it.
Of course I just started the book so I am not really sure what my issues are, but I have been thinking about it. I don't think its so much the quantity of food that has been my issue, it is the kind of food that I used to eat that was my weight issue. Why would I chose pizza over a salad every time? I think because pizza felt like a comfort food and the thought of a salad just left me wanting some sort of bread to go with it. When I was at work I would get excited about when it was time for me to eat. Why? I guess because it comforted me. The big question is what do I need comfort from? A lifetime of shame about my weight, yes, but deeper than that...I think it may have something to do with never feeling good enough. Always trying so hard but never quite making it. Like I said I am new to all this and I think its going to take me a while to get to where I can identify it. I mean, its a big question, why eat when we aren't hungry?
Anyway, for those of you that didn't see it, they did not spend very much time on the seven principles, or guidelines for finding our freedom from food. The reason is because they are principles not rules of a diet. The principles actually scare me to death because I don't see how I could ever actually get to a point where I can distinguish whether I am truly hungry or not. My switch has always been broken! This 500 calorie diet certainly put me in touch with what feelings of true hunger are, but I am a pretty good master mind at making myself believe I am hungry even if I am not. Anywho, they put the emphasis on healing yourself for the freedom not just following a set of guidelines, but nonetheless, once I have figured out how to heal whatever it is these are the principles to live by (and for dieters out there, they will probably sound nice but also scare the poo out of you)

1. Eat when you are hungry
2. Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car.
3. Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspapers, books, intense or anxiety producing conversations or music.
4. Eat what your body wants
5. Eat until you are satisfied
6. Eat (with intention of being) in full view of others
7. Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure.

My big one is eating without distraction. Food is my supplement to everything. I eat while I work, watch TV, look at magazines, eating with a group of people. I don't know that I would even enjoy eating if it had to be with the TV off. That's pretty bad. Yes, but I am working on it :)

In the meantime...this morning lost another .2 lbs. I figured it would be light since I had lost 1.8 the two days before. Two pounds in the last three days is not bad!

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