The Wait...again

So like I have said before, the hardest part of this whole process is the waiting. Little did I know that all those times before when I prayed for patience, God was saying, "You have no idea what you are asking for...." because boy, was he getting ready to teach me. Although I don't feel like all this waiting has really taught me any more patience, it still drives me completely bonkers. After the transfer, I went home and got in bed for three days of bedrest. The first day, me and bed rest were friends, but the second I was not so excited, and the third, I was totally losing it. I had never ached from being in bed before. Stupid thing to complain about at this point, but nonetheless it was trying. Especially when you have to wonder the entire time what the heck was going on inside you. I started to analyze everything...was that something? No, just gas. I nearly had a panic attack when I sneezed on the second day. I would stare for periods of forever at my little picture of our embryos, but didn't dare let myself imagine what they would look like or what we would name them. I was still getting over the soreness of the retrieval and I think I watched about every movie in our local "red box".

I had secretly already stacked up on pregnancy tests, because I just knew I was going to be "that person". I had read that by 5 days after the transfer, all the hcg I had injected would be gone and I could legitimately test. Well, I couldn't wait that long. Staying true to my very impatient self, I tested at day 4. It was completely negative and no matter how long I stared, a line just would not form. "Okay, I told myself, this is a good sign, all the hcg is out of my system...If I get a positive from here on out, I am definitely pregnant.

So I tested that afternoon, the next morning, and every half day up to my blood test. That is a lot of tests!!!!