Grateful

I was 10 weeks this past Tuesday, and am counting down every week to we can breathe a little easier after the first trimester.

There really are no words to describe the depth of love that I already feel for this tiny baby growing inside me. You can always imagine how that feels, but never breach the true meaning of love for your own child until you have one of your own. I cry every time I think about it.

Although I have been very tired and nauseous, I love the feeling of being pregnant. That at any time of the day I can think about my little one here with me. Our bond has already started and I can’t imagine how much more I will love it when I can hold it in my arms.

Don and I became very cautious about getting too excited after my first couple of ultrasounds that really didn’t show us much. The first time we saw our baby is a day neither of us will ever forget.

I knew I was far enough along that we should at least see the baby at this ultrasound appointment and my stomach was in knots. I could not even allow myself to be prepared if we did not see it. My heart jumped into my throat as soon as the doctor inserted the probe and there on the screen was our baby. I was really not prepared as he focused in on a little flashing bulb in the center of our baby. It was our babies’ heart! I completely lost control and began to cry, and Don held my hand and cried with me. I looked around the room and everyone was crying! Then we got to hear the little swoosh, swoosh, swoosh of the beats. It was simply amazing.
Amazing that God had created this life, half of me and half of my Don, and it was growing inside of me. It was like an out of body experience. Thoughts that I had dreamed about my entire life, but at the same time seemed so foreign and out of reach. I am so grateful.