My before and after pics!!!

Round 2 Phase 2 Results - Words cannot describe...

So, I am sitting here at my desk thinking of how to describe this feeling...when you come to a place in your journey that you will always remember...A time where it is okay to give yourself credit, to thank yourself for the effort and the God given will to reach a goal. Four months ago, I NEVER knew I would be sitting here in my SIZE 10 jeans, having attained something that I never have before. My official LDW (last day of drops weight) and what I will maintain through maintance is (drumroll please...............................) 151.0 pounds. In case its tough to do that math I have lost a total of 40.4 pounds in three and a half months. I sit here in tears and in awe of what I was able to accomplish. I have been okay being proud of myself, but I am now. It was a long journey and there was anger and there were tears, but here I am!

Here are my official stats:

Starting Ending Total

Total weight lost: 191.4 151 -40.4 lbs

Total % of body weight lost: -21.11%

Inches in Chest: 40.5 35.0 -5.5"

Inches in Waist: 40.0 29.0 -11.0" (almost a foot!)

Inches in Hips: 47.0 39.5 -7.5"

Inches in Right Arm: 12.0 10.0 -2.0"

Inches in Right Thigh: 21.0 18.5 -2.5"

Total Inches: -28.5"

BMI change: 31.84 25.12 -6.72

Waist to Hip Ratio: 0.85 0.73

Here is something else that is amazing and very worth mentioning. We had biometric testing done for our work insurance on Tuesday - where they check cholesterol, glucose, etc. I knew that I also had that test done at the beginning of the year before I began the diet and some things were really bad (ie my cholesterol was atrocious). So as soon as I got the results I went home for lunch and dug up my ones from January to make a comparsion, and I could not believe what I saw...I truly believe I added years to my life!

January 4, 2010 Aug. 31, 2010 Total

Total Cholesterol: 292 152 -140

HDL: 58.4 60 +1.6

Triglyceride: 150 66 -84

LDL: 203 79 -76

Total Chol/HDL: 5.00 2.5 -2.5

So to all those out there that think this diet was dangerous and that I shouldn't have done it....I just cut my chance of dying from a heart attack IN HALF!!!!!!! It's just simply amazing to me.

I was three pounds away from being a healthy weight on the bmi chart, and I will make it believe me, but other than that I am a picture of health on paper and I love it. I could have never said that, before. I hope my journey, and I know its not over, will inspire someone to add days back to their life so that they can feel as happy as I do today. I am going to take some after pictures tonight so that I can post them, and I will continue to post through maintenance and after. I am so excited and ready for the next challenge....GETTING PREGNANT!

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 34 - So very, very close!

Okay girls, I am feeling a little bit of euphoria here. Everything seemed to have turned around for me this round and I am loving it. In this past week alone I have lost 6.8 in the past week, the best week I have had in all of my two rounds. I didn't like who I was becoming this round. In the middle of it when I wasn't losing and TOM was here I became so cynical and negative, but I just had to change my outlook. And I am convinced now that anyone out there who is thinking of starting a round to start it the day after TOM leaves. I think my body goes through so many different phases during the month, that the week after TOM is my best opportunity to lose, or so it seems.

So here I sit, four days away from my final weigh in for phase 2 and here is where I am at with my goals:

To lose a total of 40 lbs: 1 lb away
To be a healthy weight (BMI normal): 2.6 lbs away
Ultimate Goal of 148: 4.4 lbs away

It seems like I will be able to attain at least one of these, the one I really really want is to not be considered overweight on the doctor's charts, I think that would be awesome. So I just need to be strong this weekend and Monday and see what happens!

Here is what I have been doing this week for those of you that are wondering:

I eat about 6 oz. of chicken breast and a tomatoe with walden farms thousand island for lunch
I eat about 6 oz. of steak with an onion and a melba toast for supper with a glass of white wine

I drink coffee, diet coke, yerba mate and water ALL DAY LONG

I have been repeating this everyday for the past seven days and have lost almost seven pounds so I am scared to switch it up, I am just going to do it for the next four days to see what happens.

Its funny with this diet how fast your body changes. I saw my Mom on Sunday and then we went to a music banquet at church last night and she almost didn't reconize me...from 5 days ago!!!! :)

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 32 - Hallelujah

Can I just say again thank you to all of you incredible women!!! I was such a negative Nancy last week (Bad, bad TOM) but you guys really helped me stick it out when all I wanted to do was sit down and cry. During stupid TOM, I lost zero pounds...Thats right, seven straight days of seeing a big 'ol goose egg every morning on my weight tracker. I was definitely on the verge of insanity and despite from being a "my cup is half full person" I was SO down in the dumps. I know you girls know exactly what I felt like. All those old addages of not being good enough or something being innately wrong with me started to creep back in. I am discovering thats a heart thing not so much as a head thing. I am also discovering that we can lose as much weight as we possibly can, and we can still dislike ourselves. Just a reminder that while we are working so hard to correct the outside, we need to work just as hard, if not harder on the inside. Skinny won't fix how we feel about ourselves, WE have to make that change.

I am a full proponent of God using our circumstances to teach us new things, so I think he had me go there last week to learn that about myself. If any of you guys read my blog, I have spent the past three months calculating and setting goals and setting myself up to be dissapointed if I didn't reach those goals, while doing this I was missing each small victory along the way. So I re evaluated, cut myself some slack, and praise GOD from whom all blessings flow this week's weight loss has been AWESOME. Since TOM's horrible reign has ended and I learned to be a little kinder to myself, I have lost 5.2 lbs in the past 5 days! Just goes to show, and I have seen it with all of you, that when the going gets tough if you can stick it out, you will be rewarded. Hope you guys have a great day :)

Total lbs lost this round: -15.8
Total lbs lost to date: -37.4

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 30 - DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD

Sing it high, sing it low, let them know the wicked witch is dead! I had no idea how terrible TOM actually was in this diet until I experienced it myself. Last round, I did not have the pleasure of his company so I didn't know. I am attributing my WEEK LONG stall to him. Just to recap, in case you did not see my irritable posts from last week From Day 22 to Day 27 this round I lost nothing. Once TOM was gone from Day 28 - Day 30 (today) I lost 2.6 lbs. Definitely enough to keep me going. I just had to stick it out as tough as it was, and as much as I wanted to give up. This weekend especially, since my husband got up early Saturday and cooked pancakes and sausage and I was sooooo hungry. I just had to remind myself what I set out to do, and I was strong enough to overcome it. It definitely helped that I went to Target and bought a skirt that fit PERFECTLY that just so happens to be a size 10!!!!!!! My size 10 jeans are still too tight to wear, but I am not ruling them out yet.

Here is my stats thus far: I have only lost a total of 13.2 lbs this round 2 (thanks to a week long stall) But overall, I have lost a total of 34.8 lbs. My goal was to lose 43 lbs. That leaves 8.2 lbs to lose. I can only do the drops (if I even have enough) for another week. I know from this round that losing the entire 8 lbs I need to lose in 8 days is next to impossible, so I am prepping myself for this. Since I have been so goal oriented this whole experience, I need to try being kind to myself by being able to celebrate this journey as a victory, EVEN if I don't make it to 148 lbs by next Tuesday. For this, I have made alternative goals from more possible to least possible:

Most attainable goal: lose another 5.2 lbs making my grand total 40 lbs lost
Little tougher: lose another 6.8 to actually be considered a healthy weight on the bmi scale (I really really want this one)
Ultimate Goal: lose another 8.6 to be at my initial goal of 148 lbs


I will be happy regardless, but if I reach any of these three I will be ecstatic. AND I have to tell myself where ever I end up next Tuesday, is where I am because I did my absolute best and if I have a few pounds to lose after maintenance then I will do that by exercise and healthy eating. I will NOT however, for my own sanity, do another round to lose a few pounds. I guess we shall have to see.....

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 24 - BOO

I am on the verge here...of tears or a very large temper tantrum...I have not lost anything, thats right ANYTHING in the past four days. Yes, I know I ate half a sleeve of saltines on Saturday with peanut butter (my only cheat in two rounds) and TOM came on Monday, but geez, I am working on a schedule here!!!!!! I have at least 10 lbs to go and only 14 days to do it in. I am going nuts!! I have never had a stall this long, and I would understand it, if I haven't been perfect, even more than perfect since saturday....I cut out all melbas, all fruits and have been drinking plenty of water. This sucks. I hate being such a negative nancy but I can't help it. I was supposed to only have a week left and now I have pushed it to 2 because I know I can't reach my goal. Sorry for being a whiny behiny but so FRUSTRATED!!! I have been on this diet for 24 frickin days and have only lost 9.8 lbs, with only one slip up......BOOOOOOOOOO

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 20

I am loving my results from the "alternative protocol". This morning, another pound gone! I feel like I am on a roll now. Twelve more pounds left. Ten left to see the 140's. I always weigh myself a few times and whatever the scale give me twice I roll with. Even though it didn't give it to me twice, I saw the 150's! Hopefully tomorrow I will see them in full force :). Baby steps :) I am excited going out with some friends tonight and I may endulge in a few glasses of wine so I am staying away from the fruit. I hope it won't slow me down.

So as of today:
Todays weight: 160.0
Total lbs loss in Round 2: 9.8
Total lbs loss: 31.4
Lbs to go to goal: 12

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 19 - Women Food and God

So yesterday I watched an Oprah episode that was recorded on my dvr from Monday. I normally just scan through to see if the topic was interesting to decide if it was worth watching. Well the topic was "WHY OPRAH WILL NEVER DIET AGAIN!" So immediately I hit play and began to watch. The whole show was about the new book WOMEN, FOOD, AND GOD. Well, lets just say it hit home so much so that I was bawling half way through. So I went out literally yesterday and bought the book. We have all heard and seen or experienced emotional eating in our lives. In the past when anyone would speak about emotional eating, I would feel bad for them, but never really connected to my life. I am, for the most part, an optimistic happy person. I didn't feel like I ate to cover any emotion pain that I have experienced. More so than anything I ate because I wanted to and because food tasted good to me. But this book is really opening my eyes to something much deeper.
The author and Oprah were discussing how those of us that have been on diets our whole life (me) have made food a bad guy when in reality nourishing food is good because it comes from God. That those people have shamed themselves for so long, they can't even enjoy good food for feeling bad because they are eating it (that's definitely me). This was not God's grand design for us. The author has a theory that all of us eat when we aren't hungry for a deeper reason. This is what I used to say baloney to. Some of us have been so good at covering up that reason that we think it is baloney. The ah ha moment here is that we eat to cover up some sort of pain because we think that actually feeling that pain will kill us. In reality if we are hiding the pain, we are already feeling it and once we allow ourselves to uncover it...which may hurt but not kill us, we can be free of it.
Of course I just started the book so I am not really sure what my issues are, but I have been thinking about it. I don't think its so much the quantity of food that has been my issue, it is the kind of food that I used to eat that was my weight issue. Why would I chose pizza over a salad every time? I think because pizza felt like a comfort food and the thought of a salad just left me wanting some sort of bread to go with it. When I was at work I would get excited about when it was time for me to eat. Why? I guess because it comforted me. The big question is what do I need comfort from? A lifetime of shame about my weight, yes, but deeper than that...I think it may have something to do with never feeling good enough. Always trying so hard but never quite making it. Like I said I am new to all this and I think its going to take me a while to get to where I can identify it. I mean, its a big question, why eat when we aren't hungry?
Anyway, for those of you that didn't see it, they did not spend very much time on the seven principles, or guidelines for finding our freedom from food. The reason is because they are principles not rules of a diet. The principles actually scare me to death because I don't see how I could ever actually get to a point where I can distinguish whether I am truly hungry or not. My switch has always been broken! This 500 calorie diet certainly put me in touch with what feelings of true hunger are, but I am a pretty good master mind at making myself believe I am hungry even if I am not. Anywho, they put the emphasis on healing yourself for the freedom not just following a set of guidelines, but nonetheless, once I have figured out how to heal whatever it is these are the principles to live by (and for dieters out there, they will probably sound nice but also scare the poo out of you)

1. Eat when you are hungry
2. Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car.
3. Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspapers, books, intense or anxiety producing conversations or music.
4. Eat what your body wants
5. Eat until you are satisfied
6. Eat (with intention of being) in full view of others
7. Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure.

My big one is eating without distraction. Food is my supplement to everything. I eat while I work, watch TV, look at magazines, eating with a group of people. I don't know that I would even enjoy eating if it had to be with the TV off. That's pretty bad. Yes, but I am working on it :)

In the meantime...this morning lost another .2 lbs. I figured it would be light since I had lost 1.8 the two days before. Two pounds in the last three days is not bad!

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 18 - 30 lbs gone, never to be seen or heard from again!!!

YAAAAAAY - Huge milestone reached today and I must, must celebrate! As of this morning 30.2 lbs are gone forever! Thirty sounds a whole lot more that 29 :) And forty pounds sounds a whole lot more than 30 :) So my next goal is to see the 150's by the end of the weekend and I think I can do it. I was 161.2 this morning, so with my new protocol I feel pretty good about that , I need at least 2.2 lbs in four days. After that my goal will be 151.4 which would make my total loss 40 lbs, and then the final and ultimate goal to be at least 149.6 (considered a normal weight on the bmi scale). These are my baby steps and I will celebrate each one for the next two and a half weeks that I have left on P2. I think if I am even close to 149.6 I will extend P2 until I get there. I am excited and am feeling good today.

One other cool thing. I had a picture of Whitney Thompson from America's Next Top Model for my goal picture and I am officially completely smaller than her. That makes me feel good because I think she looks great! I have lost a total of 22.5 inches measuring my chest, waist, hips, right thigh, and right arm. Thats 9, yes 9 inches from my waist and 6.5 inches from my hips. LOVE IT!

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 17 - Just call me Renegade

Thats right, and I will shout it from the rooftops! (just not on the yourhcg blog because some women will beat me up) I am a converted renegade. I have altered the almighty protocol and I am loving it! Even though it is the first real day. Woke up this morning to a 1.2 lb loss! I know it may not stay consistent, but who cares! This is why I am so thankful that someone shared this alteration with me. Here is what I ate yesterday:

Coffee with vanilla creme stevia and cinnamon

Yerba Mate Tea

15 cups of water throughout the day



Jay Robb chocolate whey protein shake



150 gram top sirloin with a tomato for lunch



150 gram chicken breast with a cucumber and Walden Farms Ranch dressing.



No Fruits and No melbas!



Again, everybody is different and I know I may not lose anything tomorrow, but the first day results are pretty staggering (well, to me anyway). I know what some of you are thinking...how could you take away the fruit? The only food to look forward to all day? Here is my answer....the 500 calories is so darn tough anyway will it REALLY matter if you don't have an apple and an orange? Well to some of you it might, and I thought it was going to be really hard, but I didn't miss it that much. I think I can do it for another 16 days anyway, hopefully with the same result. If any of you out there reading my post decide to try it, let me know about your results we can start a revolution :) ha ha.

The alteration makes sense really. Being a former Atkins dieter myself I realize that this is basically the "induction phase" of atkins but going two steps further with limiting fat and calories. Thats big for me. I did Atkins before and lost the same 20 lbs that I gained back right after and I SWORE I would never do something so crazy again because it was so hard and I was so tired of meat and vegetables. Well look at me now. Not only am I doing it again but I am doing a stripped down version and I am very proud of myself. I think I have to be careful and make sure I am still getting the 500 calories without the fruit (carbs).

Weight today: 161.8
Loss for the day: -1.2
Total loss: -29.6 (so close to 30 lbs yaaay)
Loss to go to goal: 13.8

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 16

Okey Dokey...So I had a fabulous weekend, and dappled in my new "altered" protocol. I say dappled because I didn't exactly follow it. Saturday, I woke up to 1 lb loss and was super excited. I had gone out to eat my hubby and enjoyed a whole filet of beef with asparagus and onions. It was more than protocol but I didn't have a fruit or melba all day so I also enjoyed two glasses of wine. I was fully prepared for no loss Saturday, but was surprised. So Saturday I was short on time and long on errands so I sucked down two protein shakes and decided it would be my "all protein day". We cooked steaks on the grill and I ate a double portion of steak with Walden Farms Thousand Island (love it) and a glass of wine. So I did an all protein but because of the wine I think, I only lost .4. Sunday I ate at Chili's with the fam after church and got a chicken fajita with tomatoes instead of peppers and ate nearly the whole thing. For supper I just ate some lean beef and I was down .2 this morning. So total for the weekend even with the wine and double protein was 1.6. I will definitely take it! So today I begin my new altered protocol. No fruit or melbas with a protein shake and normal lunch and double portion at supper. I am excited to see the results tomorrow and hoping my protocol bends don't follow me into the week. I will certainly keep everyone posted.

Todays Weight: 163.0
Round 2 starting weight: 169.8
Total loss since beginning: 28.4
Total more to goal: 15 lbs

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 13

Ok so sorry I didn't get a chance to blog in the past couple of days. I hate being whiny so I was letting that phase pass before I checked in again. So I was pretty frustrated for a couple of days there and then yesterday I woke up with a 1.2 lb loss. I was excited, but in doing my research I realize this round is tougher and the results aren't as good. I did set an unreal expectation of losing 22 lbs this round because I will lose a little and then nothing for two days even with following strict protocol. My body is just not liking going under 165 so I am just going to have to beat my metabolism into submission. :)

I am so excited to share this information, although the person who should get the credit will remain anonymous. I received some advice from a seasoned HCGer and I cannot wait to start it. Because it is an alteration of the protocol we won't post it on any of the discussion boards for fear of being booted off and berated by the gung hoe protocolists. This person is in her third round of HCG and is STILL LOSING A LB A DAY OR BETTER!!!!!! This is the hope that I needed! I know every body is different and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for everybody, but it is definitely worth a try.

Here is the alteration:
In the morning: Jay Robb protein shake (make sure it is the one with 1 carbohydrate and 110 calories) this will replace the fruit that you would normally eat at lunch.
Lunch: 100 grams of protocol protein (chicken, steak, etc.) with your veggies. Just no fruit or melbas
Dinner: 200 grams of protocol protein and veggies (again no fruit or melbas)

So in general you are substituting your fruits and melbas with more protein. This basically takes your carbohydrate level down to nothing. Again this is off protocol so you must be very careful every body reacts differently. If you get hungry you can add an apple but then you should skip the double portion of protein at dinner or the protein shake) that way you aren't going over the 500 calories. This lady also does an all protein day with 400 grams of protein, and one day a week she does an apple day.

So I have read over and over again how slow the weight loss is on round 1 and 2 in every blog I have looked at and I was trying to reside to the fact that I would have to stay on it until the end of August and then still not be at my goal until this little tid bit fell into my lap. Needless to say I am chomping at the bit to try it. I don't know if it will be this weekend, but I will definitely start it on Monday and try it for the week. I will post my results so we can all see how it will affect me. Not to get my hopes up (really its too late), but if I was to get back up to 1 lb a day I would reach my goal by August 22, cutting a whole week out of P2. That would be awesome! Okay my hopes really are WAY up, but they gotta go somewhere! Thank you so much anonymous person!

Another reason I am ready to try a little alteration is that I woke up to 0 loss again this morning. They were devastating in Round 1 and especially devastating in Round 2 when you are trying to work with a schedule. The results that I am having just look so darn puny. I am on Day 13 and have only lost 4.8 lbs this round (not counting the six I lost from load days). I have to do something to step it up a little, I have 16 lbs to go!!!

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 11 - Frustration sets in

I don't want to be negative Nancy right now, but I really am, so you will have to excuse my pessimism. I am hungry and I didn't lose weight yet again. Yesterday was a rough day, and I really wanted a glass a wine before bed, but after arguing with myself the entire evening I went to bed staying on protocol, not even eating my piece of fruit. It will all be worth it in the morning, I told myself. Well lo and behold this morning I received no reward for my piety. Any mistakes that I made eating out over the weekend should really have no bearing on me now, I have been eating perfectly, and doing my detox baths. I just don't get it. I have been battling hunger like no body's business this round and as a result, I am obviously becoming irritable.
I am grasping for any encouragement I can get, because the first round was so much easier. The results were the only thing I needed to spur me on. Without the results its HARD. I looked through some of the discussion boards to see if I could relate to any other Round 2 experiences. It seems as though I may have reach my body's prior threshold. I have only been 165 lbs for a few brief periods of time, and have only gone below it my sophomore year of college which would have been 2002. So for eight years I have not been below this number that I am fighting, which I know in and of itself is a great accomplishment. It just presents a road block for me now. Reading blogs and such give me hope that I only need to maintain protocol through this stall and that I will wake up one morning having broken this plateau. Well hopefully that will be tomorrow morning. I had just finished trying to set my expectations, which I thought were conservative, but now I see they are just way too aggressive. I am thinking now I will do awesome to lose 15 lbs this round even going til the end of August. I need a boost and I need that boost to be in the form of lbs lost!

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14 Eyes on the prize Sarah!

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 9

Weekends are always so tough! This round especially. I like my routines, and our routine is normally hanging out and going out to eat to relax. We tried to this weekend and as a result I didn't lose any this morning. Saturday night we took my stepson to get a hair cut at the mall, and while him and my hubby were doing that, I walked down to Dillards to try and find some size 10 jeans that I could use for my goal clothes. I am really feeling like I have to grasp on to any motivation, and last round I used some size 12 jeans that were way too small and tried them on every week to notice they were actually becoming my size. So....I searched for size 10, I could get them buttoned, but they were VERY uncomfortable and I had major muffin top going. I did this on purpose trying to gauge if they would fit when I was down another 18 lbs. One size 10 actually fit, but I knew it was a fluke. I want to be a size 10 that fits into size 10s not just one size 10 :). Walking through the jean racks I found a dress that had been misplaced. It didn't really look like anything I had ever tried before, so I checked out the tag...SIZE 10! So, I tried it on just for laughs and I LOVED it! It was still a bit too tight, so I decided to get it and a pair of size 10 DKNY jeans on sale. I got home and showed my husband, who looked at me like I was a little nuts because they were small, but he liked the dress a lot too. I will have to take a before picture in my too small stuff so we can see at the end if they look good. I know I am sort of grasping for straws, but measuring my weight and measurements and goal clothes size helps me celebrate and keep motivated. It also hold me accountable, especially because I have NEVER worn a size 10, EVER.

Anyway, so after the mall, I was starving. My husband and step son wanted mexican, and if anyone is a parent to teenagers, you know you have to take every opportunity to spend time with them that you can get. I knew eating out would slow my weight loss but it was important. So as soon as we walked in, I was overcome with the smell of hot tortilla chips. I could barely keep from drooling on the table. I ordered a steak fajita with just tomatoes and onions and asked them to not add any seasonings or oil. Well of course it came out and I took one bite and it was so delicious I knew it was cooked in some kind of oil. I was starving so I ate part of it. Then Sunday after church we go out to eat with our family and I got a sirloin with asparagus. It was good also so I am assuming, although I asked for no seasoning, it had some stuff in it too. Both of these at the time and now were worth it. Life is short and time spent with family is important, but I was expecting no loss this morning and I was right. Hopefully this week I will get back on track.

LBS loss on this round: -3 (not including the 6 lbs I had to lose from gaining on load day)
Total lbs lost to date: -25
Lbs left to goal: 18

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 6 - The passage of time

Yaaaay! First official day of weight loss for Round 2! As of this morning, I am 1 lb lighter than my last weight (LDW) from Round 1! It took me a few days longer to get the load weight off, but I am there now. Being the freak that I am, I calculated my average after Day 6 for round one, which was a 15 lb total loss in 24 days = 0.625 lbs per day. At that rate, it would take me 38 total days on the drops to reach my goal weight. That just doesn't sound that great to me since I was hoping to do the shortest round possible. To reach my goal at the end of the planned 30 days I would need to reach an average of 0.85 lbs per day. This would be awesome, but it is awfully aggressive. Granted I made a few mistakes in the first round such as using powdered stevia instead of liquid, eating prepackaged chicken with starch in it, and eating out too often that I won't be making this round, but as my body gets closer to the goal weight I am sure that my loss will slow. I'm working all this out so that I set my expectations accurately. Lets say I split the two and hope for 0.7 average for the rest of this round, I am looking at a total 36 days of drops and 3 days of vlcd without drops. I am guessing that I will most likely be on Phase 2 until the end of August and I just need to deal with that fact. If, by the grace of God, I make it sooner I will just be pleasantly surprised. I just need to overcome the feeling of maybe having another 32 days of VLCD. It really makes me sick in the pit of my stomach that I may very well have to be on VLCD for the next 5 weekends. Weekends are always the hardest.

It is at times like this that I really have to remind myself to keep my eye on the prize. If you think about it in 4 weeks time, I will either be at my goal weight or I won't. The four weeks will pass regardless of what I will do and when I get to the other side will I be proud of what I have accomplished or will I not be? When I look at it in that light it isn't too long. What IS too long is the period of time I have waited or made excuses and had this cloud of being overweight my whole life. I could have and should have done this years ago. But I also know that God only gives us what we can handle and that He has a master plan. Maybe I wasn't strong enough until now, and the time leading up to now made me who I am today emotionally. I will know more about myself at the end of all of this than I ever have. Just remember... time will pass whether we do what we need to or not and its up to us how we will feel looking back on what we have done with that time.

Weight today: 168.4 Pounds loss this round: -1 lb Total lbs loss to date: -23
Lbs to goal: 20

Round 2 Goal Pics

Okay, so, I think in pictures. Last round I used an image of plus size model Crystal Renn as my goal picture for the beach and it helped to visualize. I reached her measurements by the end of round 1, so I thought it might help to have a healthy image of what my goal (and lifetime) weight will look at the end of round 2. Here is what I found for size 10 models. I am trying to be realistic about how I will generally look. I am not trying to be skinny, never want to be skinny, but I want to be healthy. I think these girls are beautiful. They have curves but don't look fat at all (I realize this is matter of opinion). Granted they are taller than me, I am liking the way that Jen Hunter, a british plus size model, looks. Especially next to a rail thin "straight size" model. Perspective, people, perspective!

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 5

First two days of VLCD down, at least 26 to go! Now that I am getting back in the routine, I realize I missed blogging, its very therapeutic, and we all need a little therapy every now and then :). I am still detoxing from my diet coke addition and dealing with a little bit of headache from that, but its not nearly as bad as last time. Now, I know to drink a couple cups of coffee with some vanilla stevia and cinnamon or a cup or two of Yerba Mate tea and it helps. I am also detoxing from the emotional connection to food that I went through last round. Even though I was much better at perspective during maintenance, I did find myself going back to getting excited about what I was going to eat and putting too much emphasis on it. I always think of a Kevin James stand up routine where he is talking about how excited we get when we are waiting for our food at a restaurant and when we see it coming out of the kitchen, how happy it makes us. No matter how involved a conversation is, we get so excited and watch it as they bring it to the table. Thats how I am, except I think about how I am going out to eat on a given night that morning and my excitement builds all day. Stupid. Anyway, so on this diet you are forced to not think about food, because if you do you are constantly disappointed with what you have to look forward to. I told a coworker yesterday that you know you are on a diet when you look forward all day to an orange :). I have learned so much from doing this, and I am very thankful to have stumbled upon it. I share on office with someone and I am sure that I get annoying when I start talking about the diet because I get so excited.

Even though I KNOW that it works, I am still waiting to actually say I have lost this round. I am on Day 5 and I have almost lost the six pounds that I gained from the load days. Its hard not to compare to last time, but by day 5 in round one I had lost over 5 lbs INCLUDING the load weight. Granted, i only gained like 2 lbs during my first round load, but I guess its just hard to realize that even though I have lost 5.5 lbs in the past two days that I really haven't lost anything yet. Tomorrow, hopefully, I can report my first loss for round two and boy am I ready. I don't think it will be possible for me to withstand a third round, so I am talking myself into going for as long as I need to this round to get to the beloved 148, even if it takes 45 days (gasp). (I know my heart breaks every time I think of it :) ). I just CANNOT come this far and not make it my goal. It is so important for me to reach that since I never have. I think until I prove it to myself I will not believe it. And this is where I have to draw upon strength from God, because I know that I can't do it on my own. He gave me the tools and the strength, but I still have to choose to use them. Okay God, I am using them! (I also know that daily I ask for His patience, and I know when we ask God answers by giving us opportunities to use patience, I just hope he doesn't make me use it too much this round :) )

Last night was really hard for me, I seem to be dealing with hunger more this round. Not unbearable, but last night I went to bed around 9 (I get up at 4:15 am) and my husband stayed up and microwaved a chicken pot pie. I was drifting off to sleep when the aroma filled our bedroom. From that point on I tossed and turned thinking about the flaky gooey goodness. I was soooo hungry. My husband is super supportive, and I know he didn't know that he was driving me stark raving mad. I should have just got up and sprayed some febreeze, but I just suffered through it. I was miserable. This morning my tummy was growling before I got out of the shower. I am hoping this will subside after a couple more days, but I was confused after I talked to a rep at yourhcg.com when I bought my second round drops. I told the rep that I had seen some comments about how the second bottle people received didn't seem as potent or to work as well as the first one. I asked her if it was possible to get a bottle that was not as effective and she said yes. I really didn't like that answer so I asked how we were supposed to deal with paying $100 for a bottle and it not guaranteed to be as strong as the one before and she said you just have to increase the drops per day. I didn't like that answer either, but didn't really have any other options. I still wonder sometimes what actually is in the bottle. But thats neither here nor there, I have gone on and on about it in past blogs there is no need to revisit it. Proof is in the pudding right? Mmmm...pudding :)

Todays Weight: 170.0 Starting weight: 169.4 Total lbs lost: +.6 (still losing load weight)

Round 2 Phase 2 Day 3 - And so it begins again

Loading for the past two days has not been fun. I have constantly felt like I was going to vomit with all of the food I ate. For the past two months I have felt good, I have only felt stuffed maybe once or twice in maintenance, but my eating capacity has truly changed. I know it sounds completely ridiculous, but I, the girl who once could eat an entire pizza on my own, scoop or two of icecream for dessert, had terrible trouble eating more than 2,000 calories yesterday. I felt bloated, my jeans felt tight. It is hard emotionally to go back to that place. I tell you what, this diet takes a serious toll on the emotions. You can go from zero to estactic back to zero in the matter of days. It is so important to keep your eye on the prize. Which in my case is the way I felt after resuming normal eating habits and seeing my body want and even try to stay at my new found weight. I feel like this is the something that will finally break the cycle. Of course its easy to be in such a great mood on day 1 of the very low calorie diet, and I have yet to eat my first piece of chicken, but hey I did it last time, I can do it again. It helps to know that there are others who have done it. I can't let myself down, but I can't let them down either. Its easier to stay on track if people are holding you accountable.

So today is my 1st vlcd day and last night I was begging for it. I grilled some chicken breast last night and brought in some frozen asparagus and an orange for lunch today at work. I am preparing as best I can for the onset of headaches that I endured the first week last time. I am going to have to diet coke detox again. (I figure if that is my worst vice I am doing good) I bought some Yerba Mate tea back in maintenance but never tried it, although I had heard really good things about it. I am not a big tea drinker, I have to hold my nose when I drink the smooth move tea, but I just had a cup of hot Yerba Mate with a few drops of vanilla stevia and its awesome!!! I am really excited about that because I have read on some of the websites about how great it is as a supplement to the diet. Hopefully it will help with my headaches this first week.

So, I gained 6 whole pounds on my two load days which I am very not happy about, but I just have to tell myself to chill. I have seen on the websites where people have gained upwards of 9 lbs. I have a good feeling that those 6 pounds will be gone in a couple of days on the vlcd, so hopefully I will officially start losing by Friday. My starting weight that I will measure from is 169.4. Goal is to be 148 which is a total loss of 21.4 lbs.

Today's Weight: 175.4 lbs from start of this round: +6 (yucky) lbs to goal: 27.4

Round 1 Phase 2 Results Table

Okay, so I have discovered that I enjoy everyone's blogs so much more when all the data is in one place, so here are my first round results. I like looking at them to remind me what I am capable of in this round. I am starting round 2 at my LDW weight of 169.4 as you can see on Day 31.

Weight Chart Through Phase 4

Okay so you can see here why I had a terrible time in Phase 3 and Phase 4. My LDW is the horizontal red line, and even though the last three days before Round 2 began I was at my LDW I was all over the map. This was due in large part to my vacation that began on the first day of phase 4. I ate (and drank whatever I wanted) and the result was 7 lbs above LDW. But after a week of working out and eating what I want (just not going crazy and NO STEAK DAYS) I was back to my LDW. So although it isn't a pretty picture, I still feel pretty good about what my metabolism is doing. Any of you out there doing the diet really should chart your progress it is very helpful to see where you are going and where you have been (no matter how ugly it is)

Round 2 Phase 1 Day 2

I am still alive!!!! I apologize to all those out there that follow my blog, I didn't realize anybody really checked it, and have been very bad about checking in to let everyone know that I am still here. I knew all along I would start posting again with my new round, but I should have let everyone know how my maintenance was going. I was feeling awfully whiny posting every day about how much I hated phase 3, but I really did. If you take a look at the graph I will post later you will see why. I was really not prepared for the ups and downs and the all over the place I would be during maintenance, but drum roll please.......the day before I started loading for round 2, I was at my LDW (or the weight I was when I finished phase 2 of the diet). I really did not have faith after I came back from vacation 7 pounds, yes SEVEN POUNDS above my LDW weight, but after a week of paying attention and working out, my body did exactly what the diet says it will, it went back to my LDW. YAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!! I truly, truly felt like my metabolism has been reset (for the first time in my long dieting history) and I am really happy about that. This spurred me on to begin my Round 2. I am not excited about the very low calorie diet (the thought of nothing but chicken and beef makes me gag a little), but I think, having been through the whole process, I can make it through my phase 2 knowing that if I make it through at the end of this whole process I could be at my goal weight. A weight I have never, ever in my adult life been. I was 150 lbs when I was a senior in high school and I was comfortable and happy with myself then, so I am going to shoot for 148. I cannot imagine a day that the scale will smile upon me with that number, but I believe it is possible. Knowing that my weight loss did slow at the end of phase 2 last round, I understand that I may not lose the twenty pounds I have left, but I think I will be happy with whatever that may be as long as I have given it my absolute best. When I started this journey, I didn't start it to cross the finish line with 10 pounds left to lose, but I realize in this next round, I need to be less harsh to myself. After all, finally losing it means losing the negativity and mind games that I play with myself. Its about being happy with who I am and celebrating my successes instead of only seeing my faults. So here I am, my second day of loading and I don't know how I could possibly eat another piece of food. Yesterday, I had a calzone, piece of pizza, chocolate covered twinkies, cheeseburger, fries and two, yes two chocolate milkshakes from Hardees and I still don't think I touched 5,000 calories. I am doing even worse today but I just feel sick eating all this crap. So using the start weight of 169.4, I would like to lose another 21.4 lbs. I lost a total of 22 lbs the first round so although I think its possible, its going to be tougher than the first round. If during the course of the second round I realize that I may not reach my goal, I will still do the minimum of 23 days. In my mind though, I using 30 days as a benchmark. I will post every other day or so to keep up.

Round 1 Phase 3 Day 17

Been a while since I posted, I have been all over the place in maintenance, and its been ticking me off. Had to do a steak day yesterday to recover from the weekend (on Saturday I was at my LDW weight, but on Sunday I was 3 lbs over and 4 lbs over when I woke up yesterday, with no real explanation). I am currently 1.8 lbs above my ldw weight. I guess I am beginning to get concerned because I am not stabilizing. At first I thought it was just me being nuts about it, but now its getting ridiculous. Is more than one day at the same weight too much to ask for? And I haven't been eating off of the maintenance protocol so I that makes me anxious to think about how I am going to do when I add carbs back into my eating...To be so happy with the diet only to feel like if you ate a cracker you would gain it all back makes me so nervous its hard to enjoy my body at this weight. Next Monday begins a week long vacation at the beach, and although I am feeling good about how I look in my swimsuit, I am concerned about how I will do. I think it would be so hard for me to come home from vacation and have to go back to work and do a million steak days before I start the second round. There must be some hidden sugars or something in what I have been eating. I just don't know. For the first time I am really feeling alone in this because most of the women seem to have stabilized in their second week. Hopefully tomorrow will be a little brighter...

Dr. Oz and the Waist to Hip Ratio

I did a lot research at the beginning of my diet so that I would know how to measure myself against healthy statistics. There is my ideal weight according to my height and build (148 lbs) and suggested BMI for my age and height to measure against, but I wanted to know what Dr. Oz thought. I have watched his show in the past and read some of his books and he seems to make a whole lot of sense so I did research on how he thinks we should measure our health. In his opinion, it all comes down to our waist measurement. He says that as a general rule, a persons waist should be smaller than their height in inches divided by 2. So when I started the diet, I did the calculation. I am 5'5" so I took 65/2 to be my limit for a healthy waistline. My waist was supposed to be smaller than 32.5"! At the time this was very very depressing because mine was very yucky when I started the diet at 40 .5". My waist was at least eight inches too large. Eight inches is a lot!!! It seemed impossible to me that in a mere 6 weeks I could whittle all that extra down. Guess What?!?!?! My waist measurement is now 32" and still shrinking. I am so very proud of myself I can't stand it. When I realized that this morning I pulled my ruler out of my desk drawer and looked at 8 inches and was almost in tears. I still have a ways to go, but I think I can get used to this loving myself (just a little) :)

Round 1 Phase 3 Day 11 - woo hoo for the inches

So yesterday I was very euphoric about the two lbs loss and about the exercise, so I went jogging again, this time dragging my whining husband with me. Its much more fun that way. I was back up on the scale again this morning, but I didn't have a major meltdown like before. I have resigned to the fact that I am stabilizing and its just going to happen no matter what. Besides it was only up .6, and the ONLY thing I am supposed to focus on is being within 2 lbs of my LDW. I was so used to the loss everyday that it took me, oh about ten days, to retrain my mind to only be concerned about staying within two lbs of that LDW weight. Maybe I am slow or something, but that transition was tough. Now, I can cool my jets... Also, some more good news for you other on the diet with me. Although I have been on maintenance now for 11 days, I am still losing inches! I was totally not expecting that, but I love it. So advice to all you out there, continue to take your measurements at least once a week in maintenance it will definitely lift your spirits is you aren't at your goal weight and are having trouble wanting to stabilize when you have more rounds to go. This morning, when I measured I had lost a whole other inch and a half in my waist. No kidding! I didn't lose anywhere else, but I was just so overjoyed. I am now the same measurements as America's Next Top Model winner Whitney Thompson (see pics in older posts)!!!! Yaaaaaay!

LDW Weight: 169.4
Todays Weight: 169.2
-.2 under LDW

Lost another 1.5" in my waist!

Round 1 Phase 3 Day 10 - God is Good

Finally, a good morning. Yesterday I was being such a negative nancy for no reason. I ate an oz. of almonds, some ham and cheese roll ups and a 10 oz steak yesterday (my version of a high protein day). After supper, even though I am still getting over my cold, I decided I needed to get out and exercise. During P2, I had missed my exercise, and bought some really nice running shoes in anticipation of Phase 3. So when my weight was bouncing around this past week and I got sick that made me a little depressed. I wanted to run for some unknown reason, so yesterday, as my husband was telling me how crazy I was for not only going running after eating a 10 oz. steak, but in 98 degree heat after not exercising for a month, I set out on the open road. Yes it was hot, but it felt so good. I just felt great to be alive and stupid for being so depressed about something so small. I thanked God for the day and for His help. I breathed in the air coming across the open field. It was just awesome. Not to mention I awoke this morning to a 2 lb loss! I just don't need to get so stressed about it. I am happy I am exercising again, and weirdly cannot wait until this afternoon when I can do it again.

LDW Weight: 169.4
Weight this morning: 168.6
0.8 lbs under LDW (YAAAAAY)

Did I mention I hate maintenance...

Thought I would check in to hold myself accountable and to make sure that I am not losing my mind. I beginning to think the name of my blog is fitting for more than just the weight. Did I mention that I hate maintenance. I loved the diet a lot more when the scale went down every morning. I became a very spoiled brat on phase 2, and I wish now for its structure and results. Today is my ninth day on Maintenance, and I have been on a rollercoaster ever since my last 500 calorie day. I have been sick, which hasn't helped, but sick mentally from the up and down of the scale. I keep reading the same posts on the board over and over again to make sure I am not the only one who feels this way. Seems there are a lot of people that truly stabilize and have a jolly ole time on this stretch (even lose) but I just haven't felt that way. We are so very trained to live and die by the small digital number on the devil scale that any little bit back on and it is easy to feel defeated. I went from being a very glass is over flowing to "is that all there is left in the glass?" Boo. I don't like it. Anyway, so I have resided to the fact that I am not going to lose more that I wanted to reach the arbitrary goal I made for myself in the beginning. When good ol' Dr. Simeons said you will maintain at the weight you are on the last drop days he wasn't kidding. My actual weight the morning after the last day I did the drops was 169.4, but during the next three days it went down to 167.8. Which for some reason sounds so much better than 169.4. So I wanted to measure from 167.8 as my LDW, but alas I cannot trick the mother protocol. This weekend was very busy and wasn't very structured. I had a girls night with my best friends (but did not cheat), my nephew's 2nd birthday (but did not cheat), and Father's Day (but did not cheat) and this morning I was 170.6. Not only was it devastating to see that I had gained 2 lbs, but that dreadful 170's were back. After beating myself up quite a bit, I am thinking I need to follow the protocol and catch the rest of it on round 2. If I follow protocol, my LDW is 169.4 so I am not even over 2 lbs yet. I did a sort of protein day and am planning on getting some exercise this afternoon to see if I can get it back down to my LDW. If not, I will be doing a dreaded steak day tomorrow. This phase 3 is very not nice to people who have a complex that they are going to wake up tomorrow and magically gain all the weight back (which is me). I am sorry to be such a downer today, its really not like me. Hopefully I can feel back in control and make some headway today.

So here are the real stats: LDW : 169.4
Today's: 170.6
Over 1.2 lbs

I HATE MAINTENANCE, I want the diet again!

Well poo. If I knew of a word worse than dissapointment I would use it. First day on maintenance I gained a pound. Did a steak day - lost .6. This morning gained another pound! So after my throwing a very childish fit, I have gained a total of 1.4 lbs. Three days on maintenance and I feel like a huge failure. Booo! Granted I am still not 2 lbs over my last weight on the drops but my mind is still set on the 165 lb goal line which means I am now 4.2 away from that. I literally was just fuming this morning. We are taught throughout this whole thing to live and die by the scale, so it cuts pretty deep when you are trying very hard.
So I broke down this morning and emailed a consultant to ask what was happening to me. I gave her the whole breakdown of what I have eaten since Sunday, and she said that I am definitely in protein starvation. That I have to focus the next three days on eating protein every three hours. Yucky...I feel like I could do without protein for years, but at least I know now what is probably happening. I am going to have to go all out on the beef and chicken another week and see what happens. I am so afraid of maintenance and gaining ANY of the weight back that I will just have to do it.
I can't take this trend going the other way!
Total weight GAIN since Sunday: 1.4 lb Total weight loss to date: -22.2 lbs

On a good note, I did take my measurements yesterday and had lost another half inch in my hips and and inch and a half in my waist from last week. For a grand total of 17.5 inches lost. Well I guess I need to go eat some more protein :( Hopefully I will have better news tomorrow.

Before and After Pictures. Yaaaaay!

So here they are.....I felt like I needed a visual boost since the gain this morning. Sometimes we just gotta step back and see how far we have come. I am very very not proud of the pictures (backfat picture is miserable) a month ago, and my afters are certainly not gorgeouso but I do see the big changes and it makes me happy. Hope it helps to make you fellow suffers out there a little happy too. I don't know what possessed me to where those pants in the beginning, they have to be the most unflattering pants on the planet whether you are jumbo sized or little, but hey I started with them so I have to stick with them. My husband likes to point out how abnormally small it makes my feet look :)

Round 1 Phase 3 Day 2

:/ That was my face this morning.... There is a reason I am so afraid of Phase 3... My first gain in 34 days and I just feel like utter crap. So I finished my last day on vlcd strong at 23.6 lbs gone (forever I thought). I was at 167.8, a mere 2.8 lbs away from my goal of 165, and I was thinking I could work with that, get down the 2.8 lbs and maintain happily. Well Sunday was my very first maintenance day. Friday night my very patient husband and I spent and hour and a half at the grocery store picking through "health nut food" to find things like almond flour and flaxseeds and other items I had never heard of before. I was very excited but overwhelmed with the choices and things that I needed to cook with. Saturday morning, my last day on vlcd mind you, I made my stepson his favorite kind of cake (which happened to be my fav also), strawberry cake with vanilla icing, and even though it wasn't that pretty I was proud. I didn't even lick my fingers!!!! No taste of it whatsoever. Sunday morning I awoke to no loss, but was still proud none the less. So I drank my first diet coke in 33 days, and was unimpressed with the satisfaction, although a little carbonation was nice. My family went out to eat after church to Applebee's. So after staring at the menu for ten minutes, feeling like I was deciding the fate of my entire life, I chose a grilled chicken salad. Basic salad with ranch dressing. I ate half of it and saved the rest for dinner. The hubby and I decided to relax by the pool, and three Michelob Ultra's later, I was toast and so was my first day of maintenance. I immediately drank three huge glasses of water, but it was too late. Before dinner I had a handful of organic trail mix. I tried to eat an oz. of cheese with the rest of my salad, but just didn't want anything else. So I woke up this morning and I had gained a whole pound. I was just so mad at myself. So mad in fact that I am enforcing a steak day on the second day of maintenance. Now I have 3.8 to lose and maintain! Grrrrrrrr. Well if you are gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough, and well I will just have to be tough today. I knew three beers was too much, I knew this after the first one, but we were having so much fun I didn't even think. After 33 days of no cheating and then this. Well I have sufficiently beat myself up for this one, lets see how a steak day on the second day of maintenance goes...the cauliflower pizza will just have to wait one more day :(

New Inspirational Photos

So, I don't know where I have been, I guess not watching America's Next Top Model... but I came across season 10's winner Whitney Thompson in my search for models we could actually look up to. Here are some of her photos ( I think she is gorgeous). Her measurements are 36-32-43. I was astounded that we have the same measurements (except in the waist, I am a little larger) of course she is 5'10" against my 5'5" but sizewise it puts it in perspective. Oh and I think I did mention that she WON!!!

Round 1 Phase 2 day 30 and 31

What a happy, happy Friday it is! For some reason, maybe just because it is Friday, but I have enough energy to run the Boston Marathon (maybe not the entire thing, but probably the first mile). I am feeling good, and stopped beating myself up for not reaching my goal weight by the last day I took the drops. Yesterday, I lost .4 lbs and this morning when I awoke, another happy pound was gone. So technically you are not supposed to go 2 lbs below your weight on the last day of the drops, but I am being rebellious and trying ever so hard to get to my goal of 165 lbs before I stabilize. So, as of this morning I am at 168.4, and I have 3.4 lbs to go until I will feel utter and unlimited joy for the next four weeks. My husband, who has continously been amazed at how I beat myself up when I don't lose over a half a pound has become frustrated with the fact that I am so focused on my 165 goal. "BUT YOU LOST 23 POUNDS IN 31 DAYS!!!" He said to me this morning. He can't believe I am not bouncing off the wall at my progress. I really am very happy, its just my own neurotic need to reach the goal that I set for myself, and I know that I will some how. I want to make Round 2 as short as I can make it :) (23 days), and I figure to get to my ULTIMATE goal of 148, I will need to lose about 17 more pounds on Round 2. I think that is doable.
Right now, I am very, very afraid of Phase 3. Phase 2 has been very strict, and it was great to have a list of foods and portion sizes that you could always reference. The protocol was simple to follow. Now its like there is a whole world of choices opening up before me as long as they withold the two rules of no starch and sugar. I have done Atkins before and Phase 3 really sounds a lot like the first phase of Atkins so I am wondering if I can go back to the things I know about it. I went to the website today www.atkins.com and they do break the first phase into lists of acceptable food and it looks very much like the list of acceptable phase 3 foods in the redbook. I have found the phase 3 cookbook and it actually references that it has atkins recipes and such in them. There are a lot of yummy recipes in them, but I am afraid because my baking and cooking skills are sub par at best. I guess I will learn to have some fun in the kitchen! I am going to do a little research today so that I can be ready on Sunday. I know that Atkins 1st phase only allows 20 carbohydrates a day which limits the fruit, so I think that for the first week of so I am going to try to follow it while watching the sugars and see how it goes. I am so afraid to gain, although looking at other women's progress it seems to bounce around a good bit while you are stabilizing. Can you tell I am anxious?!?!
Well first things first, lets hope I can lose the extra 3.4 lbs this weekend and start Phase 3 strong.

Lbs lost in past two days: -1.4 lbs Total to date: -23 lbs

Updated Weight Chart

Just a few more dots left...Ever so close!

Round 1 Phase 2 Day 29 and 30

You know this diet really turns us into weight losing nazis...I have lost a lot of weight in the past 29 days, but instead of celebrating that to its fullest, I get really ticked when I stall. So much so that yesterday I didn't even feel like writing about it. What a spoiled weight loss brat I am :). I guess the reason why I was so down is because today is my 30th day on the drops and I did not reach my goal yet. I am so goal oriented that unless I reach that I sort of feel like a failure. Ridiculous? I know, but I can't help it. I have 4.8 more pounds to lose, so my plan and hope is that I will disobey protocol (bad, bad Sarah)and lose it during maintenance. I have seen this happen with a lot of the other women so...tomorrow starts my three 500 calorie days without the drops before I go on maintenance. Maybe if I add food slowly in maintenance and start exercising I can get there. I so much wanted to be at 165 when I went to the beach, and also it would mean I only had 17 lbs left for the second round. 17 sounds so much lower than 20 :P. I guess its even harder to deal with when you know you have never been so committed to something and refused to cheat even on the hard days and you have come to expect a daily loss. ANYWAY, I am done whining. Need to suck it up and be proud of what I have accomplished so far.
Speaking of which, my daily Bible devotion said something this morning that I thought I might share. I have prayed a lot of times in my life for the strength to do something like this. My study this morning was about how God answers prayer, in particular how He answered it for Elijah in the Old Testament. An answer to prayer always requires this before it : God commands, we obey, He answers. Its funny how my prayers were never followed up before with the actual OBEY part of it. He commands we take care of our body, I didn't obey, and so His answer was always no. I finally got it! He commands, I obey, He answers by giving me the will and strength to do this and BAM 21.6 lbs gone!! God is good. Imagine if we followed these steps for all of our prayers...

Total weight loss for the past two days: - 1 lb Total weight loss to date: -21.6 lbs (169.8 lbs)

Also took my weekly measurements this morning:
Chest: Starting: 40.5" This Week: 36" Total loss: 4.5" ( okay that can stop now :)
Waist: Starting: 40" This Week: 35" Total loss: 5"
Hips: Starting: 47" This Week: 43" Total loss: 4"
Right Arm: Starting: 12" This Week: 11" Total loss: 1"
Right Thigh: Starting: 21" This Week: 20.5" Total loss: .5"

TOTAL INCHES LOST IN THESE AREAS THIS PAST WEEK: 3"
TOTAL INCHES LOST IN THESE AREAS TO DATE: 15"!!!!!!

Round 1 Phase 2 Day 28

Well, well, in the home stretch for Phase 3. I am already dreaming of cheese and cauliflower pizza...So this past weekend, I bent the diet protocol rules for the first time in my whole 28 days on the program. Just goes to show you that maybe if something works for someone else, it doesn't necessarily work for you especially in thinking you can outsmart the all knowing Dr. Simeons. So Friday night, my step son graduated from high school and where do we all go to celebrate? My most favorite bean burrito and chips and nacho cheese maker Mexican restaurant. Not only did I sit across my wife-in-law (my husband's ex wife), but I had to smell the yummy goodness of chips and salsa all night. So I decided it was time for a drink. I had read that some of the girls tried vodka and water with lemon, so I had a couple.... they were really good :) So on Saturday, I was surprised to discovered after my cheatery that I had lost .6 lbs, only to have a stall the next two days. I know, I know, if all my friends jumped off a bridge, would I jump to? Well if they had a twinkie I might would :). Well, its the ONLY deterrence I have had from the almighty protocol, so I am not going to beat myself up about it, but I will hate it if I am within a couple of pounds of my goal.
Taking into account that I just said I shouldn't do what everyone else is doing just because it works for them, I am toying very seriously with doing a second round. If I meet my first round goal, I will be within 17 lbs of the doctors charts! I never thought I would ever see that day. I do have to admit though that another 23 days of 500 calories does make me want to cry, but I will actually be considered at a normal weight. Not overweight, but a healthy weight!! I can't even imagine. So, I am thinking I can go through this again, but here is the thing...In the protocol, you have to do 3 weeks of maintenance (no starch or sugar) and three weeks of normal eating before you do another round. That means I will have to wait an entire 6 weeks before I can start round 2 and that just isn't sitting right with me. Yes I definitely need a break, but not for six weeks!!! I fear I will lose my momentum and I just want to get the weight off. I want to do three weeks of maintenance, one week of normal and then start the diet again. That would be cutting out two weeks of Phase 4. Some believe this would be a cardinal sin and that I would hence never be able to maintain what I lost in Round 1 or 2, but I just have to think that if I maintain my new weight for four weeks that I will be okay to start another round. I am doing some research on it now, so I will post more as I learn more. The jury is still out...

TOTAL WEIGHT LOST SINCE FRIDAY -0.8 lbs TOTAL WEIGHT TO DATE: -20.6

Total to go for round 1 to reach goal -5.8; So I am going to have to pull out all the stops this week if I am going to reach goal by Sunday. Lets hope I can do it by then!

Round 1 Phase 2 Day 25

So, last night was the first time ever I felt like I was starving. I don't know if it was something I did, or didn't do, or if its just the nature of living off of 500 calories a day for 24 days, but all I could think about was the new strawberry and golden oreo blizzard from DQ that I saw on a commercial and I wanted to tackle my husband and take away his strawberry pop tart. So, needless to say I went to bed at 8:30, and even though it was a long nights sleep it was a restless one. I feel a little better today, and have gotten my daily dose of encouragement from the facebook page. I am still concerned because my TOM has just not arrived (its been 44 days since my last one) but it seems like everyone is contributing it to the weight loss. Oh well, Onward and upward!
Here is what I ate yesterday (I know its pretty repetitive):
100 grams of grilled chicken with spices from redbook
Medium sized sliced tomato
Apple with a little cinnamon sprinkled on top
Laura's Lean Beef pattie (100 grams)
1 cup of grilled vidalia onion
10 strawberries
And to keep myself from stealing my husband's poptart - a melba toast
Lots and Lots of water

Weight loss from yesterday: -0.8 lbs Total to date: -19.8 lbs (so very close to the 2-0!)
(6.6 more to go to meet my self imposed goal)

Thought this was interesting...

A shoot in a magazine showed several pictures of a size 4 model next to Crystal Renn who is a size 12. Check out this quote (I loved it) What Gary Dakin (the man who runs the plus-size division of Ford Models) says: In one shoot in the same magazine Crystal Renn was photographed opposite the size 4 model Jacquelyn Jablonski in exactly the same clothes. “Renn wiped the floor with her,” says Dakin.
I AGREE!



If you are interested here are Crystal's measurements:
Chest: 38"
Waist: 30"
Hips: 42"
I am 7" away. YAAAAY!

Here is a quote from her:What Crystal says:
“We are all models. Beautiful girls are beautiful girls. Size should not matter. Look in the street and there are all kinds of shapes and sizes. Why are we here? To get people to shop and feel good about themselves. Somehow that has been forgotten. Just because a girl is bigger, she can’t be inspiring? What kind of message is that? And it’s not even true.”

Also if your interested, here is a video about how the model industry is changing:

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/fashion/article7115562.ece

Inspirational photos for the beach trip - this my goal

Okay so, I think as we are losing, we still need to maintain perspective. I love to follow plus size models Crystal Renn and Tara Lynn because I think they are beautiful confident and healthy women. It just goes to show that all women are beautiful at all sizes and shapes, so along the way, we all should feel beautiful. This may even be what some of us will look like at our goal weight. I realize I will never be super skinny, even at my goal weight I will most likely be a size 10, and that is just fine for me. This picture of Crystal Renn in a bikini is just gorgeous and she is a size 12. My motivation for 4th of July beach weekend!

Inches

So I have shared my success in pounds, I may as well go ahead and share my success in inches, because I see a lot of women questioning if the loss of inches is also true. I am again owning my own numbers instead of being ashamed and I hope it inspires others to own their too. Here are my stats:

Starting on May 11, 2010:
Chest: 40.5
Waist (at belly button): 40
Hips (at widest part, trust me not hard to find :): 47
Right Arm (midway bt elbow and shoulder): 12
Right Thigh (midway bt hip and knee): 21

Measurements as of yesterday:
Chest: 37 total loss of 3.5" (Yaaay, but it can stop now :)
Waist: 35.5 total loss of 4.5" (Hallelujah)
Hips: 43.5 total loss of 3.5" (Praise the Lord)
Right Arm: 11.5 total loss of .5" (Hey its a half inch of the flappies so I am happy)
Right Thigh: 21 total loss of 0" (I hope this improves for the old shorts this summer)

So total inches lost in these areas: 12 inches in 23 days!!!!!!! I AM CELEBRATING MY NUMBERS!! I know this sounds low if you are also reading other blogs, but I only measure 5 places where some measure 15.

In My Opinion...

Okay so yesterday was the first time I publicized my blog, and by yesterday afternoon I have a message on facebook that really made me think. The title of the facebook message was "you might want to add the real truth to your blog". The title alone made me bow up a little (southern for ready to attack because I have made no un true statements on my blog. Period. The message went on to read that the woman was interested in going into the hcg business so she did a lot of research, consultations, etc and found that the hcg drops that I am taking are purely alcohol and water, nothing more than a placebo, and that the only reason why anyone is losing weight is because of the 500 calorie diet. This has been a large controversy on the facebook page and their are fierce defenders of both arguments. I do appreciate the message as it was informative based on her own experiences and reflected a lot of thoughts and discussions I have had since I have been on this diet. Not that anybody cares how I feel about it, but here it goes...the bottom line to me is I DON'T CARE. I am very well aware that it is a good possibility that the drops are alcohol and water, but I just don't care. If someone would have set me down and told me that I could do a 500 calorie diet with no help whatsoever in the beginning, I would have said they were nuts and not even considered this diet, and I am sure that is true for most women. Whether it has any effective ingredient in it all, doesn't matter to me because the results that I and other women are having are worth the $100. Women spend thousands and thousands of dollars for a weight loss cure, so even if it is a placebo, it had the right effect because it is helping women attain what they haven't been able to attain anywhere else. If the company is making millions of dollars off of a "fake" product, they will answer for it in this world or after this life and that is of no concern to me. The only other downside to buying the product if it truly is a placebo is that we are actually doing this all on our own. That would mean every woman that has lost the weight has had the strength and ability within herself. I will quote what Dr. Simeons has said about this: "We have had cases in which patients have proudly flaunted their dieting powers in front of their friends without mentioning the fact that they are also receiving treatment with HCG. They let their friends try the same diet, and when this proves to be a failure - as it necessarily must - the patient starts raking in unmerited kudos for superhuman willpower." If the drops do not contain HCG it means that the women who have lost should receive "kudos for superhuman willpower". And I am okay with believing that those who have succeeded have done so, and should receive those kudos. I appreciate the woman's honesty, and who knows, my next round I may try without the drops. She even mentioned that she is on her second round with great results, just no drops. But if these drops are the push that women need to succeed, the small help to say "you can do this" I have nothing against it. The benefit of the diet itself far outweighs the cost and I think any women doing the drops can argue this fact. Another thing to point out is that people doing the injections in general lose the same amount of weight, so you really could make the case for real hcg being unnecessary if the drops are a placebo. It only means that all of us could do this diet on our own. In saying this, I would never want to diminish hope for someone who feels they need the drops and are succeeding. Because I have not done my own research I cannot and will not make a statement as to the validity of the hcg drops, but I can say the 500 calorie diet DOES work, and maybe that is where all the power lies. I have not been hungry, I have lost a lot of weight in 23 days, and if I have actually done it on my own that's great! It would only prove to me that I have superhuman willpower :). If someone is reading this trying to decide whether to do the drops here is my advice, if you have the money and it puts you at no hardship, and you think it may help get your mind in the game, purchase it. If not, try the diet without it. Either way, do not expect the diet to be easy, you will learn a lot about yourself either way, but the outcome, I promise, will ALWAYS be good. (Okay I am done with my rant :) )

Round 1 Phase 2 Day 24

Well, the on the first week of the diet, I decided to sort my jeans into sizes. There were the big (or stretched) 16's, regular 16's, then the larger fit 14's, then the smaller 14's, and then the 12's. I have never in my adult life been below a size 12. So I have been slowly working my way down the line. Big and regular 16s are too big, larger 14's are comfy, but as of 4 days ago, the small 14's were still too tight to wear...well, today I put on a small 14 and it fit! So I have to celebrate that. What a change in 3 days (Even though there wasn't a massive loss so far this week!). Just like I was saying to someone on facebook - we beat ourselves up so much, we never know when to give ourselves credit! BIG THING - CELEBRATE YOUR NUMBERS!!!! When I was heavy I was always jealous and in awe when I saw someone lose a lot of weight, well guess what, that is me now!!! So I was reading back over my posts and I realized I left out some tips from the first three weeks that have helped me so here you go:

• Drink water till your eyeballs float (I know I have said this, but its so important!
• Invest in smooth move tea it keeps everything moving a long if you know what I mean (and you can't say it doesn't help with the scale)
• The ACV cocktail, yes it tastes bad and it burns my throat, but I do think it helps
• For some, the detox bath helps, it can't hurt (well, it gives me headaches) but it really does help some others
• Black coffee with vanilla creme stevia and a sprinkle of cinnamon seriously reminds me of my favorite Pumpkin Spice Starbucks coffee. Its a good way to get some caffiene in the mix if you are a recovering addict :) )
• Two hours before bedtime and your done. I don't even drink any more water after that point because if I don't get rid of it during the night, it could show up on the scale the next morning.
• Make sure you are counting calories (including vegetables). I have to give a shout out to Phyllis from facebook on this one. Many of us, including me, were just eating by protocol, but not measuring the vegetables and fruits. Since protocol was sort of vague with "handfuls" and I have heard "2 cups" for the vegetables people are eating all sorts of amounts, but IT WILL AFFECT YOUR WEIGHT LOSS. WEIGH EVERYTHING. I use www.sparkpeople.com . It is free and you can easily search for what you ate, enter in an accurate amount (grams, oz, size of fruit, etc.) and it will spit out your calorie content.
• Give yourself and your body a break and don't exercise. I love to exercise, and I have tried it twice but my body said "hold up, you are asking a little too much, and this is where I draw the line". I am eager to get back to it when maintenance begins, but I think its just best not to do it.

Okay, so yesterday here is what I ate:

Lunch: 100 grams of chicken breast (poultry spices from HCG recipe book, grilled) and one orange (my cucumber at work was squishy and I wasn't going to make that mistake again)

Dinner: 100 gram Laura's Lean Beef premade burger patty (all natural only super lean beef) with the all purpose spices from reciped book and a grilled vidallia onion with 10 strawberries (sweetened with a packet of stevia

After Dinner: ACV Cocktail

Total Calories: 458 (I should have eaten another vegetable at lunch, but didn't have one)

Results: Weight Lost Today: -0.4 lbs (is always lower the day after I lose more than a lb)

Total Weight Loss To Date: 19 lbs (7.4 to go by next Friday to meet goal)

Total Weight Now: 172.4 (Oh and I am 5'5")

Round 1 Phase 2 Day 23

Okay, so I think I have back tracked enough to get me to today. So I ended my last week with a three day stall. No fun at all. Its funny though, if I don't get a hold of myself when I don't lose a pound a day, I lose perspective so easily. I mean 17.6 so far is awesome. But as most of us on the diet know, we were lead to believe a pound a day and thats what we expect. I think it was hardest for me because I have struggled, and have not cheated even a teensy tiny bit and still nothing in three days. So yesterday, I posted some questions about a mini steak day I had been hearing about, and one of the girls said that it helped her. So, yesterday I drank my usual coffee, drank about 80 oz. of water, had a 100gram steak and a large apple at around 6:00pm and then did a detox bath. The detox bath is always ruff for me, and it hasn't really helped in the past, but I did it anyway just to say I had done everything I could. I also drank an ACV cocktail. Its not a cocktail like you think (don't I wish). I made mine with 2 tablespoons of Apple Cider Vinegar, 1/2 cup of water, a squeeze or two of lemon juice and a packet of stevia. As is I wasn't already having a tuff time getting it down (its burns my throat) my hubby lets me know that it smells like stinky feet. So great...now thats all I can think about. SOOOOO with all of that yesterday...drum roll please.... I lost another 1.4 lbs! Yaaaaaaay! So hopefully that kicked started something, although my TOM should really be here by now and I feel as though it is looming in the distance. So total to date now: 18.6 lbs lost!

Sarah's Weight Graph

Thought this may help serve as a visual to keep me going. Its nice to see it dropping and my first round goal is in site. For any of those doing the diet its a great motivator and easy to do on Excel. I have a ritual of putting my weight in every morning. Its the simple things that make me happy :)