To be a mother....

Ever since I can remember, I felt my purpose on this earth was to be a mother. I first became a mom at the ripe age of six. Baby Heather was my daughter’s name. She moved, talked, and cried. She had to be rocked to sleep and fed with a bottle, it was even necessary to burp her. Amazing what a little robot baby required. I loved doing it all, and I took her everywhere. And I am willing to bet, if you asked Baby Heather I was a good mom (until I outgrew her). I never really thought I would have a problem becoming a mother, it always seemed pretty easy to me. So much energy and dollars are spent to prevent it from happening at an inopportune moment, I just assumed if I ever stopped trying to prevent it, it would magically and wonderfully happen. Life had such a different journey for me. I have always been the type of woman that had to find her own way. You know, make my own mistakes; learn my own lessons. It seems I must enjoy taking the hard and winding road rather than the easy yellow brick one, but never the less, I have… In life, I have always wondered about those that say that they have no regrets. I find myself at odds with that. In the words of the Avett Brothers: "I made decisions some right and some wrong, And I let some love go I wish wasn't gone These things and more I wish I had not done But I can't go back, And I don't want to 'Cause all my mistakes. They brought me to you. I have made some mistakes, broken some promises, hurt people I did not want to hurt. And I do regret those things. But in the end, all those things brought me here to the person I am today. They have taught me lessons I would have never learned, and they brought me back to my two truest loves – God and my husband. So in a way, I would not change them. I love what Maya Angelou says “When we know better, we do better,” and that is how I have decided to move forward in my life.