The most painful part...

I am convinced that the worst and most painful part of IVF is the waiting. We waited to try after Don’s surgery, we waited six months to find out the results, we waited on our first appointment at the clinic, we waited to start the cycle of hormones for IUI, we waited for the result of the IUI, we waited for test results to see if we were IVF candidates, we waited for my cycle to be timed right to start the month of pills before we actually start IVF. I am now a confirmed believer that if you ask God for something, like a character building request, such as patience, you better get ready because he is going to give you something that will force you to learn it. I did pray for patience, and boy is He teaching it to me. I prayed for a deeper commitment and closeness to Don, and boy is he teaching it to me. I asked for a baby, and I am learning just how bad I want it. This process will tear you down or bring you closer to each other and to God. It is our decision and although we have struggled, I think it has deepened our love for each other, and it is helping me with the fact that I cannot control everything.